I never would have expected to choose the stay at home route, but now that this little one is here, she is all I can focus on. It would be a huge problem if I was working. When I become invested into something, I go to the max. Every thought is of that thing and it doesn't matter day or night, I am working on it. Well, that wouldn't work for Ryan and Natalie. I couldn't do both and do a good job at it.
It isn't cake walk staying home. Although it sounds luxurious, it isn't. I am shocked by how fast the day goes by and although I have accomplished many tasks, the house doesn't always show for it. I do love every minute with Natalie. It also gives Ryan and I a chance to spend fun time together, not worrying about the lawn being mowed or the house being filthy. He can relax and I can start projects and he can finish them ASAP. No! Ryan, if you are reading this, I never meant to do that to you. :) Ha!
What's in a day? Laundry. I do diaper laundry every single day. It takes 1 hour 48 minutes for a load. It takes 3 hours line drying and another 15 minutes stuffing those cute little diapers with liners once dry. Whew. Good think It is sunny right now. The winter months will be harder to hang dry. I guess I will have a fire roaring in the living room and diapers hanging all over. Sounds great. Can't wait for one of you to do a surprise drop in on me and see my chaos. Do you know how many dishes you produce when you eat 3 meals a day at home? Way too many. If I am not doing dishes and laundry, I'm nursing Natalie and changing diapers. :) I love it, don't get me wrong. I just can't fit it all in. I SHOULD get up earlier. I did today and I actually have my hair done and make-up on. I often let that go when just staying home. Why not?! Its healthier for Natalie to not have me smear my make-up on her sensitive face and I have to pull my long hair up because she enjoys pulling it out by the droves. 
It's days like today that make staying home so fun. The neighbors hand me fresh cut flowers over the fence, Natalie and I spend time at the public library reading books and then we hit a couple grocery stores for entertainment. Grocery stores for entertainment? YES! I run into the nicest older ladies and gentleman. The will hold up the crankiest middle aged person desperately wanting to pass in the isle, but the little older lady wants to coo and ahh at Natalie and she has no idea anyone is impatient behind her. Asleep or awake. They love Natalie. I get more help from strangers than I ever did even at 9 months prego. Maybe I had an "Don't mess with me" look on my face while pregnant, but now my face looks happy as a clam? Who knows.
Today I was stopped by an older man that was fairly hippy like. Long salt and pepper hair in a pony tail, beard and old, but bright eyes. He asked how old Nat was. He then said he too had a 5 month old. I am sure my processing face looked strange. I was thinking, "you?--5 month old?" I am old for having a baby and you must be much MUCH older than me" and my mind was wondering about how young his partner would have to be...all while he is talking to me. I totally forgot what he said and I am pretty sure it was a question. AHHHHH. I somehow recalled a portion of his conversation and managed to ask him about his little guy. I was way better at conversations in the working world.
So yes, I am now focused on Natalie and Ryan...and starting to look into what's next for us. You didn't think I could actually stay home without something on the radar did you??? Ha! For 5 years now I have said "I'm going to be a barista when I grow up." I got weird looks as an administrator wearing a suit. Probably because they knew I'd be paid far less. So instead, I'd like to own a coffee shop. I am hoping to open a coffee shop close to home with the help of talented people to run the show. Lots has to happen before it is official, but Natalie and I are going to be a team of two bringing the best coffee to Beaverton.
I will share more as it comes. Thank you for all your support. I know we will be happy with our decision for me to stay home and take care of Natalie. They grow so fast and she won't be this little for long. I can always work later.
This is what I get to pick up, pull out for Nat, and put away again and again. :) Yikes.
-Kate
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